T'was the Night Before Christmas Show

by Codi Pendance


T'was the night before Christmas show, and all through the house,

All the drag queens were hustling, even those who were soused.

Sewing machines open, the throttles pulled wide,

In hopes that the crowds would pile in like a tide.

I in my feathers, all fluffed with no naps,

Big Bruce in his leathers, for his Christmas nite caps.


Then at the front door, there rose such a clatter,

I jumped in my pumps, to see what was the matter.

I Pulled open door, knocked down all the lights,

And squinted my eyes to see into the night.

The blurred vision I got, transformed from a stream,

to a miniature stage, and a Christmas Drag Queen.


She ran into the house, headed straight for my drink.

"You can keep all the cookies, I'll take this dear I think"

Her appearance quite shocking, all glitter and gold.

Even her stockings, with glitter were rolled.

She sucked down my cocktail, and went into a spin,

Her pump flew right off, hit me square in the chin!


The site I saw next I just couldn't believe,

As she sailed through the air, for her pump to retrieve.

On top of me she landed, her gown billowed out.

But all I could see was her hair strewn about.

Her face peered down at me, eyes full of good cheer.

Since we are family, Let them say we are queer!


In a flash she jumped off me, swirling her gown,

I fought my first instincts, to retort with a frown.

She blew us all kisses, and started to speak,

"Be joyful and jolly, all through the week.

For this is the season, when man settles down,

Anger and hatred, for this night are turned round."


Her message quite clear now, It sounded so mild.

For the world learned forgiveness, from one tiny child.

She grabbed Bruce's cocktail, and took a big swig.

Then smoothed out her gown and tugged on her wig.

Out the door she bolted, and returned to her stage,

It all looked so perfect, like a storybook page.


She started to rise up, which gave us a start,

Then smiling so grandly, she said something so smart.

"Be Gay and Be Merry all Through the Year

Keep love in your heart, You'll have nothing to fear!"

The stage rose up swiftly, and dashed into the night.

Was only a moment and she was clean out of site.

We stood there bewildered shocked and bemused,

Was she really here, or was it that rot gut we used?